do herpes really smell.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
