i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I look better un-naked...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
