the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
