thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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