Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
