I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
