I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
