meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
