Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
