I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
