life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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