all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
