If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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