drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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