Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
