I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
