Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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