It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
