I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
