Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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