Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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