Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
