we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
