there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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