Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
