I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
