I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
