im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
