Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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