Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
