she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
