We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
