She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
