I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
