why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it glows. i had to have it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
