i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
