im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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