Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
