i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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