I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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