Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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