I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I licked your asshole in confidence.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
