it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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