Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
