Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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