Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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