we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there was a trapeze. enough said
only you would photoshop your dick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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