Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
