used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
