I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
