I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we made out on top of his cat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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